It's been a year ago, today. Sometimes it feels like an eternity, with so many memories and so many tears shed. It's been an extremely difficult time for my husband; the passing of his mother that he was so close to. They had a wonderful relationship. But, I can remember every tiny little detail about her last day, as if it were yesterday. And, I imagine that day will always stay with me.
Dawn Shores was a phenomenal woman. A person like no one else I've ever met in my life. My daughters are having an incredibly difficult time this anniversary. Dawn will always be in our hearts.
So, I am reposting the blog I wrote last year, the day after her passing, to keep her close in our thoughts.
My husband's mother lost her battle with cancer yesterday. We got the call at 4:30 to come immediately as it would only be a matter of time. We walked into her apartment 5 minutes too late. Her sister Joan and niece, Debbie were with her when she passed away. My teenage daughters were devastated.
Dawn was one of the most courageous women I had ever met. She was diagnosed almost four years ago. She had a pea sized lump on her lung. In time it grew and became the size of a grapefruit. She had the slow growing cancer, squamous cell cancer. As time progressed the cancer began wrapping itself around her heart and her left lung. Her lungs began filling up with fluid, so she had to have one drained twice a week. Doctors feared that her heart would give out because of the strain. The cancer took it's toll on her body. She went from 135 lbs down to less than 90 lbs. She was fragile and frail.
She wouldn't let you say the word 'cancer' around her. She was in complete denial. And that's why she lived so long beyond her initial diagnosis. Everytime she went to the doctor they marveled that she was still alive.
Every new ache or pain was not because of the cancer. She would say, "I don't know why they can't figure out why this hurts so much. I've been telling the doctor for 8 months there's something wrong with it, but they just can't figure it out."
Dawn got out of bed eveyday and was insistent on getting dressed. She wanted to be ready to go out for a bite to eat or to head to the store (just in case). She put makeup on everyday, until the last week and a half. The chemo took her hair, and as it began growing back, when we went to her apartment to see her, she had to grab her wig or a hat before she let us come in. She apologized profusely for not wearing any makeup. "Oh, I must look awful today," she'd say.
She died when my husband was out of town on a business trip - and that was his biggest fear. Should I go? he asked. I couldn't make that decision for him, I would support him one way or another. His mother had been diagnosed 4 years ago. She looked good when he left. The prognosis was good. His trip got pushed back a day, and then a week. There were family members that devoted their days, weeks, months and the last couple of years to her, including my husband. So, someone was always with her. Hospice was there too, and they were absolutely incredible.
She wouldn't discuss final arrangements. In her mind if she did, she was giving into the cancer.
Dawn Shores was a phenomenal person and an incredible grandmother. Her husband died when her boys were 5 and 7 years old. She raised her two boys by herself, working two jobs. No grass ever grew under her feet. She had an infectious personality, she was a very active member of the community, and she was always out, staying busy. She never missed a ball game, a wrestling match, a school play. She was an active part of her grandchildren's lives. She was at all of their dance shows, school plays, powerlifting meets, birthday parties. If her grandkids were in it, she was there.
She was feisty and funny. She had a great sense of humor. And, she was so incredibly inquisitive about everything in your life, no matter who you were. She was interested in everyone and was a great listener. When my daughters went to see her she would ask them 30 questions about school, boys, sports, dance, you name it. She loved them dearly and said her biggest regret was that she wouldn't be alive to see them grow to have families of their own.
Dawn's first great grandbaby girl, April, was due yesterday, March 5, 2009, the day she died. Everyday she would ask what day it was and wasn't that baby due on the 5th? She knew.
Dawn Shores, 45 year resident of Melbourne Florida died at 74 years old. Dawn was my husband's mother and the only father he ever knew, ( as his dad died when he was 5 years old).
She was one of the "good ones". It makes no sense to us why she was chosen to leave us at such a young age. We have learned so much from her. We will miss her dearly, but we know that she fought with all that she had in her. Now, it's time for her to lay her head down and finally rest, as it has been such a painful struggle for her.
God bless you, Dawn, and thank you for everything that you have given everyone whose life you have touched.
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