My husband's mother lost her battle with cancer yesterday. We got the call at 4:30 to come immediately as it would only be a matter of time. We walked into her apartment 5 minutes too late. Her sister Joan and niece, Debbie were with her when she passed away. My teenage daughters were devastated.
Dawn was one of the most courageous women I had ever met. She was diagnosed almost four years ago. She had a pea sized lump on her lung. In time it grew and became the size of a grapefruit. She had the slow growing cancer, squamous cell cancer. As time progressed the cancer began wrapping itself around her heart and her left lung. Her lungs began filling up with fluid, so she had to have one drained twice a week. Doctors feared that her heart would give out because of the strain. The cancer took it's toll on her body. She went from 135 lbs down to less than 90 lbs. She was fragile and frail.
She wouldn't let you say the word 'cancer' around her. She was in complete denial. And that's why she lived so long beyond her initial diagnosis. Everytime she went to the doctor they marveled that she was still alive.
Every new ache or pain was not because of the cancer. She would say, "I don't know why they can't figure out why this hurts so much. I've been telling the doctor for 8 months there's something wrong with it, but they just can't figure it out."
Dawn got out of bed eveyday and was insistent on getting dressed. She wanted to be ready to go out for a bite to eat or to head to the store (just in case). She put makeup on everyday, until the last week and a half. The chemo took her hair, and as it began growing back, when we went to her apartment to see her, she had to grab her wig or a hat before she let us come in. She apologized profusely for not wearing any makeup. "Oh, I must look awful today," she'd say.
She died when my husband was out of town on a business trip - and that was his biggest fear. Should I go? he asked. I couldn't make that decision for him, I would support him one way or another. His mother had been diagnosed 4 years ago. She looked good when he left. The prognosis was good. His trip got pushed back a day, and then a week. There were family members that devoted their days, weeks, months and the last couple of years to her, including my husband. So, someone was always with her. Hospice was there too, and they were absolutely incredible.
She wouldn't discuss final arrangements. In her mind if she did, she was giving into the cancer.
Dawn Shores was a phenomenal person and an incredible grandmother. Her husband died when her boys were 5 and 7 years old. She raised her two boys by herself, working two jobs. No grass ever grew under her feet. She had an infectious personality, she was a very active member of the community, and she was always out, staying busy. She never missed a ball game, a wrestling match, a school play. She was an active part of her grandchildren's lives. She was at all of their dance shows, school plays, powerlifting meets, birthday parties. If her grandkids were in it, she was there.
She was feisty and funny. She had a great sense of humor. And, she was so incredibly inquisitive about everything in your life, no matter who you were. She was interested in everyone and was a great listener. When my daughters went to see her she would ask them 30 questions about school, boys, sports, dance, you name it. She loved them dearly and said her biggest regret was that she wouldn't be alive to see them grow to have families of their own.
Dawn's first great grandbaby girl, April, was due yesterday, March 5, 2009, the day she died. Everyday she would ask what day it was and wasn't that baby due on the 5th? She knew.
Dawn Shores, 45 year resident of Melbourne Florida died at 74 years old. Dawn was my husband's mother and the only father he ever knew, ( as his dad died when he was 5 years old).
She was one of the "good ones". It makes no sense to us why she was chosen to leave us at such a young age. We have learned so much from her. We will miss her dearly, but we know that she fought with all that she had in her. Now, it's time for her to lay her head down and finally rest, as it has been such a painful struggle for her.
God bless you, Dawn, and thank you for everything that you have given everyone whose life you have touched.
This article is authored by
Sandy Shores Realtor, Melbourne FL Real Estate
Brevard County Real Estate & Investing
Palm Bay Florida Real Estate News
that for you
Very touching tribute to a wonderful woman. You will find that as time goes on you will continue to learn from her even though she is no longer with you physically. This may not make sense to you now but it will soon.
Stay strong.
Sorry for your loss-I know Dawn will never be forgotten you and your family will forever keep her alive. What a great woman she was.
Sandy: Dawn did, indeed, sound like a wonderful woman!!! And you , my Dear, are a wonderful daughter-in-law! I bet she felt blessed everyday to have you as one. Thank you for sharing this story. And my thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.
Dear Sandy,
What a wonderful tribute to your mother-in-law! She sounds like an incredible woman.
My grandmother passed away right before I was born. The old folks said, "One needs to live the world to make room for another'.
Barbara
Oh, Sandy. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. This was such a touching tribute to a wonderful human being. You were lucky to know her and sound like you appreciated every minute of it. I truly believe that most of the battle against a serious disease is fought in your mind and how you approach it. Your mother-in-law sounds like a fiesty lady that wasn't going to lay down and take it. I love that! I have had many women in my family that were exactly the same way.
Sandy - My grandfather died right after my son was born, and both of my grandmothers passed away after my first daughter came into the world. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and you and Steve are in my prayers. I was confused at the end about Steve losing both his mother and father, until I re-read the post.
Sandy - You were blessed to have such a wonderful mother-in-law. Thank you for reminding us of making the most of the time we have with the people we love. My prayers are with you and your family.
Sandy, you have my deepest sympathy. My prayers go out to you and your family. May God bless.
Sandy, I am so sorry for your husband and family's loss. My prayers also are with you and your family.
Sandy,
Someone shared this poem with me yesterday. A friend passed away and her granddaughter read this at her funeral. Hope you find comfort in it. It is a little long.
If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
If tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you care for me, and how much I care for you,
and each time that you think of me I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do.
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I'd say goodbye and hug you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realised that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through Heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you,
Today your life on earth is past but here it's starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last.
and since each day's the same, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting, so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.
And you have been forgiven and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand and share my life with me?"
So if tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, please know I'm in your heart.
Author Unknown
Lyvia May
Sandy: Sorry for your loss. I think you have given Dawn a great tribute here. As for her great grandbaby, I hope her middle name is Dawn.
Hi Sandy
It's sad to hear that she has passed on, but in her passing we need to remember her at her best and celebrate her life.
Good luck and success
Lou Ludwig
Sandy, this is a wonderful memorial! I attended one on Tuesday for my best friends mother-in-law. My thoughts and prayers goes out to your family!
Sandy - That is such sad news! My thoughts are with you and your family! Isn't it amazing how family members will sometimes pass when other events are unfolding. My youngest daughter started kindergarten on the day my mother died. And we have an uncanny amount of coincidences of birthdays and deaths happening on the same day in our family.
Dear Sandy, Dawn sounds like wonderful person! You were lucky to get such a wonderful Mother-in-law, and I know you, and everyone in your family will miss her very much.
Your post brought me to tears, it was such a loving tribute to a wonderful woman. She lived a wonderful life and fought the good fight. As soon as I thought I could comment, I read the poem from Lyvia... another round of tears!!
I hope your memories will comfort you during the very sad time. Thank you for this lovely post and letting us know a little about Dawn Shores. Bless you.
Very sad -- we'll keep you and your family in out thoughts--- all the best.
Denise, Thanks so much, I remember losing Grandma in 1982 and I have never stopped thinking about her nor remembering what an incredible woman she was. You're so kind.
Pat, Thank you. She truly was a great woman -like no other.
Kat, I truly felt blessed to have her in our life. Thank you for the kind words.
Barbara, We must look at the blessing of a new baby coming. Thanks.
Heather, My mother in law was one of the fiestier women I ever met. She was incredible. Thanks, Heather.
Jason, Thank you for your story and the kind words.
Irene, It is so important to enjoy every minute. We never know if it will be our last.
Kevin, Thanks for the blessing. It will take time to try and get back on our feet again.
Paul, You are such a kind friend here, and thank you for the kind words.
Lyvia, I know that you have given me permission to read this absolutely beautiful poem at the funeral tomorrow that you sent to me. I hope that I can stay together to get through it.
Chris, There is so much to say about Dawn. I could go on and on. Thank you.
Lou, You are correct. We must continue to celebrate our lives and go on living. Thanks for your friendship here.
Tony, Thanks, this post came straight from my heart.
Myrl, We just never really know when one is going to pass over, do we? Thanks for being here Myrl. I appreciate your friendship here so much.
Hey Miss Mary, My dear friend, this post brought tears to my eyes also. And Lyvia's poem absolutely touched my heart. Thanks for always being here for me.
Bob and Carolin, Thank you for the kind words and the warm wishes.
Awwww Sandy,
I am so sorry for your loss. If you need anything, let me know. I will be praying for you and yours during this difficult time.
Ann Hayden knowing how you are feeling in Wildwood, Missouri
Thanks Ann, You are truly such a dear friend!